DREAMLIFE: A collection of women’s dreams, recorded and then translated here as part of the Female Background metabolism. A way in, a way out.
I was at the university building and I was talking with professors and I was letting them know that I was having a hard time finishing things because of my thyroid and concentrating and I was going to finish but I was going really slowly because of those things.
I was in a play. I don’t remember my lines the night the show is going to start. I’m having a hard time remembering my lines in rehearsal the night before the play. I am realizing I can ask someone to take over my part because I’m having a hard time remembering the lines.
I was sleeping in a hotel room and I was in the hallway and he was sleeping in the same hotel and I asked him to sit down and talk through things. Can we please just sit down and talk through things? Because he ignores me. He looks right through me and it’s really painful. And umm. Like if we randomly see each, not like we ever reach out to each other normally. And umm. And he said, yeah, that sounds good, that would be good. He for some reason, I was in his house, I was waking up in his house, and his uncle was there, he used to stay at the house a lot, because he worked with his nephew and he came through. And I was saying to his uncle I really wanted to heal things with him that I couldn’t really handle the fact that he was so cold to me when he would see me on the street and his uncle was really encouraging and all of a sudden he kind of bursts out of a pile of boxes as if he was listening the whole time. He comes and lies in the bed with me and is really, he had so much energy, but it feels like he’s trying to get back together with me but that’s not the thing I’m trying to do. And then he lies back in the bed and his head was bleeding. Huge amounts of blood. He said, oh yeah, it’s just a little bit. But it was just gushing out.
I was outside of some house with some girlfriends chatting and there was an avant-garde music event happening in the house. We were sitting in a yard and the yard goes out and drops down a steep hill. And there is the town on the edge of a huge mine. All of a sudden there is this huge fiery – either a bomb or a comet, something directed into the mine. Something fell from the sky, we weren’t sure if it was going to blow up. The people in the town were celebrating that the mine would be destroyed even though it was their livelihood.
I was sitting in therapy. I finally had a chance to cry in front of her. To say how exhausted I’d been. How tired. How I could only do so much energy-wise, there was only so much I could do. How exhausted and sad I’d been.