DREAMLIFE: A collection of women’s dreams, recorded and then translated here as part of the Female Background metabolism. A way in, a way out.


A group of us were finishing our theses. We were supposed to deliver a talk in front of an audience. It was to be in a school gym and the audience would sit on the bleachers. We were going to talk about black-lives-matter and the #metoo movement. I was running late. I was running around doing errands and I was late. But my colleagues did a good job of covering for me. They talked and stalled and then I arrived and was able to give my presentation. I did not remember what I said. I kind of blacked out while I was speaking, but the presentation was recorded. I was so embarrassed by my lateness, but everyone said I did a good job. I was asking my advisors how I did and they said I’d done well. We watched the footage and I could see myself speaking. I was embarrassed because I knew I had procrastinated. I knew I wasn’t well prepared. We were all sitting down trying to watch it.

I was in my house, you know, it was a multi-unit rental and my neighbors weren’t paying their rent and I was having some leaking problems with the roof and I had this guy Lenny who helps me with the house and he came over and we were looking at this barn section of the house and I found parts of the house I had never seen before. I often find parts. These barn sections of the house. In my own house there are spaces I haven’t seen before. In looking for these problems, there were really old sections of the barn I’d never seen. Then Lenny and I went outside and I thought we were having a normal conversation and then he gets closer to me and says “I wonder how this would feel” and he leans in to kiss me and I wonder do I actually want this do I actually want to say yes to this do I just kiss him and not say yes?

I was feeling arousal but my mind was saying this is not a good idea. And I knew from science that happens. So that’s a real experience. We have genital non-concordance that our genitals might react to something but our minds might not be into what’s happening. And then some of my tenants that were renting from me came down in these big trucks and were going off-roading and we hopped in the trucks with them. And umm, like he was inviting me on a date, Lenny. He was excited to be hanging out with me in a dating kind of way.

We were driving along and eventually we were driving through this kind of interior hallway space with these big trucks with these kind of Maine, kind of red-neck types, hick-type folks who seemed nice but kind of an odd group of people and we were driving through this hallway and we came across this really feminine woman who’s dressed in high-heel white go-go boots but also had bondage, and a white mini-dress, but bondage gear, like a leather type of vest thing and a collar and leash with a fake pink gun and she was looking into a security camera, like her dom, her dom is watching her through this camera. She seems fine but like her dom has told her to hold this gun to her head. And we keep driving along

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