1: Okay. Then… Is it your turn or my turn?
2: Which? I don’t know.
1: No, you should be me.
2: You be me. Okay? You be me.
1: So I was driving along right? And feeling . . . I was feeling so sad. You know? Heartbroken. Just devastated. And heartbroken. And I thought, if I knew where the pain was, you know, I could stop it. Like an amputation, but at the same time, I thought, I knew, that it wasn’t anywhere, and that if it wasn’t any place, then the heartbreak shouldn’t exist, you know? – If it was like a ghost, or if it was imaginary, then I would just imagine it gone.
2: Maybe you just couldn’t put your finger on it? Could it be that? I mean, not that it wasn’t there, you just . . . so maybe you just couldn’t put your finger on it. . .? Like you weren’t doing it the right way . . . or somehow using the wrong tool, or something. I guess that’s called sense right?
1: what is?
2: the tool you would use for finding a feeling, wouldn’t really be a tool, but a sense? Right?
1: Probably. . . . But, anyway, there was this feeling of it being somewhere on the outside, you know? But like it was hovering, or haunting, really. Maybe a little above me and kind of close to my face, definitely higher rather than lower. I mean, it wasn’t near my feet. So strange that I would even know that
This whole idea of things being on the inside seems so weird anyway, you know? I mean, really, if you get your heartbroken, where do you find that? It has nothing to do with you in the first place, you know? Someone or something else did it anyway, or it happens anyway, so why is it in you?
2: Why would you say that this feeling was on the outside then?
1: Well I didn’t want to say anything! And because I don’t know. No. Listen. No one really invents new things to say . . . it’s why people get heartbroken.
2:. Well, that’s not why. But it is another thing. Like another symptom. You know, like of something else. Like you’re sick. Heartsick. It’s a condition. You’re afflicted. You can’t locate it.
1: If someone could invent something new to say we certainly wouldn’t keep saying heartbroken.
- It’s egotistical to not think about yourself really. Think about it. It’s presumptuous, right? If I really believe that I’m different, that’s the only way there’s a difference between an inside and outside, but if I’m not different, or separate or something, if my heartbreak is outside, then thinking about what seems to be myself is no different than thinking about anything else.